Based on true events.
Claudia tried to sit as far away from the door as she could but still felt the bite from the wind every time someone went in or out of the donut shop. She sipped her coffee and pulled the collar of her jacket higher around her neck. Judy was late like always and it was putting Claudia on edge. Every time the cold rushed in from the door she glanced over from her booth. She tried to yank at the collar but it wouldn’t go any higher.
There was a prostitute and her pimp sitting a few tables from her and Claudia watched them out of the corner of her eye as the pimp counted a pile of wrinkled up bills, laying them on the table. He was trying to look younger than he was by wearing the clothes of a teenager but it wasn’t working. His jowls were starting to sag, the dark skin around his eyes and mouth showing its wear. The girl was no spring chicken either, the lights of the donut shop exposing the worn face that was encased in fading day old makeup.
Claudia thought of Tina. She would have been about the age of the hooker, early forties maybe? Tina would have been beautiful though. Her sister had always been beautiful, people saw her pictures and would say she looked like Penelope Cruz but taller and more voluptuous. Then people would ask where she was and what she did, was she in law enforcement too? Claudia would have to tell them that she was nothing, she was dead.
The person would be silent for a moment, maybe they would talk about something else to spare her feelings or because they were uncomfortable, but usually they would ask how Tina died and Claudia would tell them she committed suicide with pills. People would ask if her sister had been unhappy, maybe had a history with depression? Claudia would just end the discussion by saying she didn’t know, she was just a kid when it happened.
But she did know. She had only been twelve but she had known. She had known the moment she had come home and found Tina lying on the carpet of their Mother’s apartment. She had known it wasn’t suicide, it was a murder. Yes, her sister had ingested the pills herself, but it was the world that had forced her to do it. A world that allowed their step dad to go into Tina’s room and do what he did. A world that had let that man then have his friends come over and one would go into Tina’s room while the rest stood in the kitchen drinking beer and waiting their turn. A world that would let that man get away.
Mexico probably, they said. The two officers had told them as a family, her, her sister, and her mother. It’s up to the Mexican authorities now. Claudia had looked at the two men and cursed them in her mind. They could have done something, they had the means. They had cars and phones and guns and badges, it was just a matter of doing something. It was just a matter of caring.
Judy finally floated through the door. She looked around the room absently, not seeing Claudia until she had made two sweeps of the tables. She sat down across in the booth, unzipping her jacket while Claudia pushed record on the device.
“I fucking hate this wind,” Judy muttered.
“Any word on Leo?” Claudia asked.
“No small talk or nothing huh?”
“No.”
Claudia cleared her mind of all the memories that haunted her and focused in on the girl. She peered into Judy’s dull blue eyes, looking for what was going on behind the round childish face.
“I haven’t heard nothing.”
Judy waved her hand dismissively.
“Nothing at all?”
“Nope.”
“He’s got to be back before the Christmas party,” Claudia said. Judy looked down at the table, studying the salt shaker.
“How about that new guy? Any sign of him?” Claudia asked.
“Not since I saw him the first time. I haven’t heard nothing either.”
“Who else haven’t you seen? Anybody else I should know about that’s missing.”
Claudia said it without really expecting an answer and reached down to sip her coffee as Judy played with her hair, taking a moment to think on it.
“I guess the Croat quit,” she said.
“You heard that?”
“He usually works the door at Paradise Isle or hangs around on the week days, but he hasn’t come around.”
“Bill Rodasavich?”
“I think so. That’s the Croat right?”
“And you haven’t heard anything?”
“Melanie said she asked Murph about him and Murph acted weird.”
Claudia sat up straighter and yanked the collar of her jacket down.
“Weird how?”
“He just started yelling. He got pissed off. He told her to keep her mouth shut and mind her own business. We all thought it was weird when she told us.”
“When was the last time anybody saw him?”“I don’t know. It might have been when that man showed up.”
Claudia sat back and looked over at the door, the prostitute and pimp leaving. Bill Rodasavitch was gone and it could be nothing, or it could be something, or it could be-
“I wouldn’t have even noticed if one of those guys was gone but I like the Croat,” Judy continued. “He’s a sweet guy. He’s funny. Most of the other guys kind of treat us like dirt.”
“What does he do at the club?” Claudia asked.
“Security I guess.”
“Does he do other things for Leo?”
“Like what?”
“Anything.”
“I don’t know.”
“Does he work at the Gold Duck?”
“Maybe. I don’t know.”
Claudia would pump Rollins. He would have to know something if a guy had disappeared. It was time to make the scum bag step up.
“Are you ready for the Christmas party?” Claudia asked.
“Yeah. I got this cute little red dress that I got a long time ago that I’ve never worn. It looks cute on me.”
Judy smiled and it made Claudia pause. She had never seen the girl smile before.
“How many dancers will they have there?” Claudia asked.
“A few. Last year they had four or five I think.”
“Are the girls asked to do anything more than dance?”
“We barely dance even. We just walk around and talk. Leo’s got all these guys with money that want to be flirted with, they want’a look at us. There’s important people there sometimes. It’s just fun.”
Fun she called it. Claudia looked across the table and couldn’t hide her disgust. The girl was so naïve and so young and so blind. Claudia had to remember to show her the pictures of what was left of Alex Martinez next chance she got. Somehow she needed to get across to Judy that it wasn’t going to be just another party. She would be in a den of thieves and killers and this naïve little girl was going in alone.
“Judy, we’re going to be fashioning you with a special purse that you’re going to bring with you to this party,” she said and tried to look directly into the blue eyes to get across the seriousness of what she was saying.
“A purse?” Judy questioned, the word not making sense to her.
“Yes. It will be specially equipped with a camera inside that will transmit a signal to us. It’s going to be important for you to make sure that the eye of the camera takes in all the people at the party. Everybody.”
Judy stared across the table at her, the dull eyes finally widening.
“A camera? Wait a second-“
“It’s important that you be low key with it but also make an effort to document everything that you can. It’s going to take a lot of concentration on your part, do you understand?”
“Wait, wait, wait. Hold on a second. I can’t take a camera-”
Judy tried to protest with her palms pointed out across the table but Claudia barreled on.
“We’ll want to see everybody that shows up to this thing. We’ll want to see who talks to whom and especially who talks with Leo McCarthy.”
“I can’t do that!” Judy cried out. Other people in the donut shop glanced over at their table.
“Yes you can. It’s hidden in the purse. No one can tell that it’s a camera.”
“The purse?”
“Yes. The purse is the camera.”
“What color is it?”
Claudia squinted her eyes, her turn to be puzzled.
“What color? You mean the purse?”
“Yeah.”
Judy rolled her eyes, annoyed that she had to explain herself.
“I have no idea what color the purse is.”
“Could it be red?” Judy asked and formed another grin. “A dark red. That would go perfect with my dress.”
****
Things seemed to have gotten back to normal. Bobby Flores was leading a group of drunken pollacks (or Swedes, Oscar couldn’t remember which) through the front door and over to the bar. The men looked around at the picture of the tennis player and at the rust of the place and laughed their heads off. Tek poured them a round of drinks and Pat came up from the passageway, shaking their hands and slapped them on the back. Soon they would all head upstairs to play cards and as the night went on some of them would break off into other rooms above Golden Duck to snort cocaine and choose girls. They would go back to where they had come from and recommend San Francisco to all their associates.
Oscar watched the men drink and laugh. He felt a burning sense of loathing for the Golden Duck and everyone in it. This is what it was all for. Leo let these men and all men like them roll themselves in whatever vices they wished and drained them of their money while they did it. It was for this that Oscar got up every day and went to work. It was for this that the whole operation was run and for this the Croat got capped.
Oscar felt weak, drained, like he had been bouncing around in a repeating loop for years. The high stakes game would be starting in the next half hour and then he would go up and stand in the room and watch. He would watch the men play cards until it was time to go down and exchange cash with Yellow Charlie and make a drop into the safe. He would watch the players as they got drunker and smoked cigars and cigarettes and filled the room with a dense haze that covered the girls as they came in and coaxed those having a good night join them in another room and get to know them better. It would go on and on, passed when the sun came up. If the players were high rollers the games could go on for days.
Pat stepped away from the party and snapped his fingers at Tek who poured him a whisky. Pat shot it back and slapped Oscar on the shoulder good naturedly.
“You remember these guys?” he asked and pointed his thumbs back at the Polacks. “They were over here six months ago, remember? They’re all Serbian or Yugoslavian or something.”
Oscar shook his head. Yugoslavians. He was pretty sure that was a type of Croat or vice versa.
Marvin Rollins came in and made his way around the bar, slipping an envelope to Tek who then handed it over to Oscar. Rollins nodded and made a quick line for the door before he was intercepted by Pat who gripped Rollin’s arm, dragging the older man back over to the bar.
“Where you rushing off to?” Pat asked.
“What the hell?”
Rollins didn’t make a move or break away.
“Relax you fuck. I’m just trying to make sure you got it all figured out for the party.
Rollins looked confused, grimacing at Pat.
“Christmas Party?” he said dumbly.
“Yes, the Christmas party you fucking moron. Leo wanted me to double check that you had the girls lined up and everything’s good to go.”
Rollins rubbed his mustache with his pinky and the grayish eyes behind his glasses shifted.
“Yeah, it’s all fine. Nothing to worry about.”
Pat snapped his finger at Tek but kept his eyes on Rollins.
“I hope so Marvin. Remember: Leo wants the more wholesome kind of girls. No scanks who are going to go around trying to turn tricks in the bathroom, you understand? There’s going to be some respectable people there and we don’t want some street whore going in there giving McCarthy Paints a bad name. Clean chicks for Christ’s sake.”
Rollins nodded absently, then reached into his sports coat where his cell phone was vibrating. He answered with a “what”, quickly turning his back on Pat and making his way towards the door. Pat sat down on the stool next to Oscar and Tek brought him another whisky.
“I can’t fucking stand that son of a bitch,” Pat said, sneering as he reached for his glass.
Oscar’s phone was vibrating now. He pulled it out and looked at the blocked number, hesitating before putting it up to his ear.
“Yeah?”
“Come over and pick me up at the hotel.”
Vaughn’s voice buzzed and cracked through the phone.
“I’m about to go to work,” Oscar said.
“That’s right. You’re about to go to work and pick me up.”
Oscar put the phone down and looked over at Pat.
“You’re going to have to pull somebody else up to the game tonight,” he told his friend.
Pat shot his drink back and glanced at the phone in Oscar’s hand.
“Is that the guy? What the fuck does he want now?”
“I gotta pick him up,” Oscar put the phone back to his ear. “I’ll be over in twenty minutes.”
Vaughn had already hung up.
****
The tree was lit up, bright and beautiful. Claudia took a moment to stand and admire it while the shoppers and tourists swarmed around her. It was a huge tree, towering over Union Square. She remembered seeing the actual lighting ceremony when she was a kid, nine or ten maybe. She and Tina had watched it from the Macy’s side of the street. She remembered men stopping and looking at Tina and she was so young she wondered why. Tina hadn’t let it bother her; she had still believed in the world at that time, hadn’t seen it as a threatening place.
Claudia scanned the crowd, spotting Rollins making his way through on the other end. The limp was moving fast, an angry stagger that made him stand out from the people around him. Claudia ducked through, quickly making her way behind him without his noticing. She watched him continue to limp and she let him, hoping it hurt.
He stopped in front of the tree and glanced around. She decided to announce herself by creeping to his right ear and whispering right into it.
“Take out your phone and act like you’re talking to someone,” she hissed.
Marvin spun around, outraged. He stared defiantly before going into his pocket for the phone.
“You can’t fucking call me like that,” he said.
“Like what?”
“Out of nowhere like that. You never know who’s around.”
“I understand. You don’t want to end up like Bill Rodasavitch.”
“Who?”
Claudia gazed up at the tree.
“Please don’t fuck around Marvin. You’re bullshit is tiresome and pointless. Where’s the Croat?”
“I don’t have a clue officer.”
Rollins was making it a point to look off into the crowd, trying to sell that he was on the phone.
“Its detective Marvin and I do think you at least have a clue.”
“I don’t even fucking know the guy,” Rollins protested.
“But you know of him.”
“I mean, he’s done pick ups at the club. He might have worked the door a few times. I don’t know. I don’t know shit really. It’s pointless for you people to even use me. I don’t know a fucking thing.”
Claudia crossed her arms in front of her.
“You don’t know anything. In that case I can put some cuffs on you and take you to jail right now.”
Rollins’ head shifted around, his bad foot tapping on the cement. He gripped the metal handrail that lined the cement stairs. Claudia savored his anger.
“Are you going to make it to McCarthy’s Christmas party Marvin?” she asked.
“No. I mean, I might stop by. I don’t know. I probably have to work.”
“I want you to ask around about Bill Rodasavitch. I want you to find out where he is. I want you to find if he had anything to do with what happened at the Golden Duck.”
“What’s the Golden Duck?” Rollins said.
She turned around, staring at him directly, no longer continuing with the illusion that they weren’t talking to each other.
“Jesus Marvin. You must really want to go to jail. How are you going to stand there and try to bullshit me? You think we don’t know about the Golden Duck? You think we don’t have ears and eyes everywhere with you guys? You need to pick a side Marvin and I would suggest you make the right decision because you really don’t have a choice. You’re old and have no future. Go with the retirement plan where you spend some time in jail instead of the one where someone drops a line to McCarthy and you end up with a bullet in your head. That’s pretty easy right?”
Rollins had dropped the phone to his side, looking back at her. She could feel the hatred bubbling out from behind his glasses. He wanted to hit her. She wanted him to as well. She wanted him to at least try so she would have her chance to hurt him. She realized this and it must have been plain on her face because Rollins shrunk away, taking a few steps back.
“I don’t deserve this,” he said weakly.
“Yes you do.”
“I’ll do what you say.”
“I know you will. You get everything you can on where the Croat went and you get back to me. You have two days. If you come back and try to tell me that you couldn’t get anything then I’m going to fuck you. You believe me right?”
Rollins watched her speak, his eyes wide behind the glasses. He swallowed and nodded at her, the understanding between them complete. She watched him turn and enter the crowd of people circulating through the square. She watched his shuffle disappear down Geary.
****
Shimiya stepped through the sliding doors of Whole Foods with the bags hanging loosely in her hands by her side. She didn’t need to go to the store but when she started to make the pasta she allowed herself to think of Bill and if he came back that night it would be nice to have enough for him. She had stared down into the boiling water for a moment and then grabbed her coat and headed out.
Bill had been gone for almost a week and while at first she had walked around with a heavy sense of dread she convinced herself on the third day of his absence that he had only left for the moment and would be back at some point. When he first showed up at her apartment the week before it was obvious he was in trouble. He had looked at her, his face pale, his eyes not completely catching hers, and he asked if he could stay for a few days and she said he could. He seemed scared but more confused than anything else. She wondered what was going on but held back from asking. Part of her didn’t want to stress him more than he already was and part of her knew that if she did know there was the chance that she might put her own self in danger.
She had heard him in the kitchen talking into his cell phone in a hushed desperate voice one night and it had worried her. All he told her was that he needed to stay over for a few days, that it was very important that she not mention to anybody that he was there. She had asked why she would tell anybody when the thing they had was a secret at work and they were the only people she ever saw anyway. ‘Well just don’t say it to anybody, don’t tell your friends or anybody you don’t know’ he told her and it seemed to her he was having a hard time looking her in the eye.
She had liked having him there in the apartment. He stayed all day and then when she came back from work he was still there, sometimes drunk after having gone to a bar or finishing a bottle off there at the kitchen table. She liked watching him sleep, his mouth wide open. He was a good man, the best she had been with which wasn’t saying much but she had realized his potential when he defended her against his mother. The old bitch had looked at her with those eyes some white people had; not quite hateful but still full of distrust. His mother had made some comments and Bill hadn’t let it slide, he had stood up for her and she had loved him for it.
Then he was gone. She came home and sat around all night waiting, then the sun was up and she continued to wait until her eyes wouldn’t stay open anymore. She danced on the stage at the Cat Nip, her eyes barely open. A regular that hadn’t come in a long time asked for a lap dance and she agreed to it. She got home that night and expected Bill to be there and when he wasn’t her anger collapsed. Everything became longing and exhaustion and she decided that he would be back at some time and it would be best to let it go until then.
She pushed him to the back of her mind and kept him there, not in anticipation or as a hope, just there. She could keep him there for years if she wanted to. It was her talent to compartmentalize just so, a talent she had picked up as a little girl, one that she had developed to survive.
She was just twenty feet from her building with the grocery bags when she finally noticed the two men. They had been lingering near a car parked across the street, then had moved quickly towards the building entrance when she got closer. She cursed quietly. The younger one looked familiar, she was sure she knew him. The older one was staring right at her.
“Shimiya right?” the older one asked.
He grinned and she knew better than to trust it. She wanted to get a good look at the one that seemed familiar but she kept her gaze on the one speaking. Something told her to keep her eye on him.
“Do I know you?” she asked. She stopped in front of the steps, not wanting to enter the building with them there.
“I’m Bill’s brother Jimmy. I’ve been looking for you.”
She didn’t answer, she just looked at him. Bill’s brother? He didn’t look anything like Bill. Then again it was hard to tell with a lot of white people.
“Where is he?”
She hadn’t meant to say it, it just came out. The man who said he was Bill’s brother straightened up, nodding.
“He’s gone back east. To his wife,” he said.
“His wife?”
Shimiya felt the anger jump into her throat. She wanted to swing the grocery bags around and hurl them in the street.
“Yeah, he’s been married. I thought you knew that,” Jimmy said. “He told me he stayed with you last week. Do you know why?”
She could feel something giving way inside her but she forced it away. She would sort it all out later. She would cry later. Not in front of these two men. Maybe never.
Jimmy scratched the side of his face and looked confused. He glanced over at the other man and Shimiya did too. The other man was young, maybe her age. She knew him but she couldn’t remember his name. She was sure he used to be around the club. He worked with Bill and she knew Bill might have mentioned his name but she couldn’t remember.
“You know, I’m real sorry about intruding like this,” Jimmy grinned at her again. “Bill made off in a hurry to work this thing out. He was at some airport back east when I talked to him and he mentioned that he left some stuff at your place.”
“Just some clothes,” she said.
“Nothing else?”
“No.”
“You sure?”
“Yeah I’m sure. Maybe some clothes but that’s it.”
Jimmy pointed at her and shifted his head to the side.
“Well there you go. He left some clothes. You mind if we come up and grab the clothes and whatever he might have left? That alright?”
She didn’t like him, she was sure of that. She looked down at the bags in her hands and back at him. He watched her, then he stepped forward.“Here, we’ll take your bags up. It will only take a second.”
She wasn’t sure what to do. Bill was married? Maybe that was the real reason that the mother had made the comments and made her feel unwelcome. She looked at the grinning face in front of her. Fuck Bill, and his freaky ass brother, and this silent ass motherfucker that’s just standing there.
“He didn’t leave nothing. You don’t need to go up to find out,” she said.
“I think I do,” Jimmy said. The grin flattened then came back quickly. “It will only take a second and then we’ll be out of your hair. Promise.”
She knew that whoever this man was he was coming up to her apartment whether she liked it or not. She had known men like this. She knew from the eyes and the tight forced grin. She knew the fastest way to get rid of him was to to let him have his way.
She led them inside and up the stairs, keeping the grocery bags by her side, not taking Jimmy up on his offer. She unlocked the door, making her way into the kitchen with the bags while the men stood in the main room. When she came back out Jimmy was walking around, glancing at things while the guy from the club stood planted in front of the door.
“His stuff is all right there,” Shimiya said and motioned towards the chair where a pair of pants and t-shirt sat in a crumpled pile.
Jimmy didn’t look at the chair. He continued to glance around, then brought his gaze back on to her. The look he gave made her go cold.
“Just give it to us and we’ll be on our way,” he said.
“Give you what? I told you he didn’t leave nothing.”
“The bag. The suitcase. Whatever it is.”
“I don’t know who you are and I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about no suitcase.”
He moved very fast. One moment he was standing in the middle of the room and the next he was on top of her, his hand around her neck and dragging her into the bedroom. She had expected something, this might have been it. She didn’t scream but she scratched at his face. He threw her away from him, onto the bed. She only had a second before he was on her again and the gun with the long black silencer was against her head.
“Where is it,” he said calmly.
“Where is what?”
“Oscar,” Jimmy called.
That was his name, Oscar. He walked in and looked at the two of them on the bed.
“Go through the place,” Jimmy said.
Oscar went out of the room and Shimiya averted her eyes from Jimmy who stared down at her with the gun to her head. She could feel his breath on her check, hot and overpowering. All she wanted to do was survive that moment and knew it wasn’t up to her.
She heard a few things falling on the floor, then she heard Oscar’s footsteps go into the kitchen. She heard the slight screech of the metal pans on the shelves being moved around. She expected to hear the crashing of plates as he turned the place upside down but nothing came. He seemed to be doing it diligently, almost respectfully.
The weight in the bed shifted as Jimmy got up and opened her bedroom closet. She didn’t look over to see if the gun was still trained on her, she could feel it. It wasn’t the first time she had felt a gun pointed at her. She listened to him digging through the closet, his approach much different from Oscar’s as he threw boxes and clothes savagely on to the floor. Oscar walked back in while he was still in the closet.
“Under the bed,” Jimmy said to him.
Oscar came in to her line of vision as he bent down on his knees to peer under her. She watched the top of his head and his shoulder. She imagined he saw a dust bunny, some socks, maybe a few pairs of her underwear.
“Nothing,” he said as he stood back up.
She felt the bed shift again as Jimmy got back on it. He put his legs on either side of her and forced her to look up at him with one hand on her chin while the other still held the gun. She stared back but could feel the tears beginning to stream down the side of her face.
“Alright, I’m going to ask you once more,” he said it with the same flat tone. “Did the Croat hide something here or give you anything to hide for him? Before you answer I want to be clear. If you say something and I think you’re lying then me and my friend are going to throw you out the window there. You’ll probably survive the fall, I really don’t know. But I think we can both agree you won’t be shaking your ass around a club for awhile. Maybe never again.”
She stared up, the tears blurring his face.
“He didn’t give me shit and I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
He sat there on top of her for a few seconds and then the gun disappeared back into his jacket. She saw the awkward grin appear again through the tears.
“Good. I believe you,” he said and got up off the bed.
He walked out of the room. She stayed flat, not able to move. She shifted her eyes over and watched Oscar head towards the door as well. He was looking back at her with a strange look on his face, almost like he was sorry. He went out into the main room and then she heard the door close. She was all alone on the bed and the ceiling was going in and out of focus.
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