The People We Dream Of

I’m with a group of people and we’re all standing on the sidewalk outside a school, one I attended years ago. I’m much older now, it makes no sense that I am at that school, yet I also know there are classes in session at that very moment and I'm out here on the sidewalk, missing it all. I talk to the people on the sidewalk through conversations that mean nothing and I forget them as quickly as they happen.

I transport to a house, not one I ever lived in, maybe one I’ve never even been in, maybe one I just saw in a magazine or on TV. I’m following someone up the stairs, a woman. She’s a visitor, or does she live here? Do I live here? She turns around and I recognize her, I’m glad to see her, I have things to tell her but I can’t seem to get them out. Her name is-  Her name is-  

People call me bitter and cynical but I do believe in dreams. In the dead of night, the subconscious runs wild through the darker corners of our minds to reveal things our waking minds refuse, or are unable, to fathom. I don’t believe we can simply shrug off dreams. In that 90 to 120 minutes of REM sleep our true fears, loves, desires, everything we truly are, is revealed to us.

I probably only remember a few dreams a year. People that are close to me appear in them, family, dear friends. Then, every once and awhile, there’s an appearance by someone that only appears in the periphery of my waking life, sometimes just an acquaintance, a passerby, and they take a starring role in the dream.

The morning after I had the dream at the school and the house, I had to really think for at least ten minutes to recall if the woman in the house was from real life or something my dream had made up. It finally clicked: she was real: the girlfriend of an old roommate, a roommate that I had lost contact with years ago. We didn’t know eachother well, the woman and I, we had probably only hung out a handful of times and that was simply because she spent time at the house I lived in. Why would she appear in a dream so vividly and so many years later?

I had a girlfriend once who, after we broke up, would appear in my dreams very vividly, and when I awoke it was like I had seen her and spent time with her. Sometimes these dreams were painful, often times not, but without fail, usually only a few days later, that ex-girlfriend would appear in real life. There was no warning that I would see her before hand except for the dreams. On the third time I dreamed of her, maybe two years after last seeing her, I awoke and wondered if she would appear. Sure enough, a few days later she emailed me and said she would be in town. I have not dreamt of her since.

A week after my grandfather passed away he appeared in a dream. I was in my mother’s house, in the living room, and in walked my grandfather holding a peach cobbler. I was surprised to say the least. We didn’t speak much, we just shared the pie, which was excellent even though in real life I can’t say I have ever had peach cobbler. My mother was in the kitchen one room over and I desperately wanted to tell her that her father was there. My grandfather stopped me, saying not to bother her. I awoke immediately, convinced that I had been visited by my grandfather in some form or another.

So why this girlfriend of an ex-roommate? I don’t remember much about the real her except that she seemed very healthy. I remember her being a runner, a jogger. I suspect it may be my own recent interest in health and being active that pulled her up from my memory. There is the house as well, why was she in the house? At the time I knew her I thought she was a nice enough person but I was never interested in her or secretly attracted to her. In the dream her appearance made me overjoyed, I was glad to see her. Does she symbolize a change in what I want? Does she symbolize a regret that I now harbor?

I’m not sure but I do believe if I continue to think on it something will come into focus. Our dreams are trying to tell us something.

05-22-13

Watch the Thrones, Week 8

The following is a series of recorded conversations between staff writers Dublin and DJ Undacut, transcribed on the evening of May 19th 2013.

2:50 PM

UC: I figured we would meet up early and make a couple’a predictions about tonight’s episode before it airs.

D: Okay.

UC: But I think we should make it a little more interesting by putting some money down.

D: Bets?

UC: F’sho.  So check it out: is this going to be a big ass episode, like big shit goes down? Or is it going to be another “treading” episode like what we discussed last week?

D: Big shit I think. It’s about time.

UC: I don’t think so. We’re at Episode 8. Big shit don’t go down until Episode 9 on HBO.

D: I still think something big is going down. Something huge.

UC: Alright, $25 says nothing all that significant is going to play out. And we gotta agree on what significant means.

D: I would say: Ned Stark getting killed. That was significant.

UC: Wow. So it’s gotta be that big.

D: Sure.

UC: You're on. Okay, will there be any titties?

D: I would imagine so.

UC: How many?

D: How many pairs?

UC: No, how many period.

D: Less than ten.

UC: You’re on. $5 says there will be more than ten.

D: If there’s less than ten I get $5?

UC: That’s right. Now, will Theon get tortured some more?

D: God I hope not. You think?

UC: $10 says he does.

D: Okay.

UC: Cool, see you in a few hours.

10:17 PM

UC: I'll take my $25 right off the bat homey.

D: There was a wedding!

UC: Shieeeet (just like Senator Clay Davis from The Wire). That wasn't no "big shit".

D: Hmmm. Okay. Well I'm keeping $5 because I only counted two titties.

UC: I counted four!

D: Melisandre and???

UC: Gendry fool.

D: If that even counted that's only four. That scene was a little over the top.

UC: That scene was kinky! Melisandre is like that freaky teacher that wants to hook up with her students in the parking lot.

D: She looks exactly like a classic character from a Conan comic book.

UC: Word up! That was every nerds favorite scene. And that was all added by the TV people, none of that is in the books.

D: Also, no Theon. So that's another $10 back to me.

UC: I'm still ten bucks ahead.

D: So the wedding wasn't a big deal to you?

UC: It wasn't no 'Ned Stark getting his dome chopped' scene, no. I did love it though.

D: Joffery!

UC: That little son of a bitch. Just when you think he can’t get no worse he’s talking about raping his dwarf uncle’s wife on their wedding night. Damn that little inbred bastard.

D: You know, for me, this is the episode where Tyrion truly became a hero, or at least a good guy.

UC: He's always been the real star.

D: Sure, but I'm saying. The way he handled the wedding night with Sansa showed him to really be one of the good guys. In fact, I feel that whole wedding and wedding night was done better on the show than in the books. Peter Dinklage straight killed it.

UC: Dinklage!

D: I've always felt he was a little over rated to be honest. But this episode showed why he's a great actor and why Tyrion is a good guy.

UC: I love when he threatened Joffery. Tywin had to chill that out.

D: Yes.

UC: Lannisters were threatening a lot of people this episode. How about Cersei threatening Margaery for calling her sister?

D: Hey, Cersei has got to protect her spot as Queen Bitch, I mean Regent.

UC: Finally, it seems as if Sam killed a White Walker.

D: It seems that way.

UC: I hate Sam.

D: I hate the White Walkers. They look so digital and stupid.

UC: I hate Sam's fat face with that nasty chin beard.

D: I think the White Walkers would have been more scary if you couldn't see so much of their faces. More like the Ring Wraiths.

UC: Now those guys are scary. See you next week!

D: Sounds good.

Transcribed by Jose Vanuello for Pro-Transcriptions, San Pablo CA. 05-19-13

Tweaker Town USA, Under the Freeway

Two freeways converge less than a mile from where I live. The main street goes over one freeway and under the other, and it is there, below the overpass, that a group of people converge every morning.

They are mostly men, but there are at least two women as well. They vary in age, the youngest of the group appear to be in their late thirties, all though it is hard to say for sure. The ruggedness and of their features could be caused less by the weariness of age and more a result of smoking methamphetamine.

I pass them every week day on my way to work, and I’m able to observe them in detail because I’m on foot. Some of them do indeed camp under the overpass while others come from somewhere else. The criss crossing of the freeways is an ideal place for them to panhandle, two outlets leading into the street where groups of cars must pause and wait for the light to change. When the flow of traffic is stopped, a single member of the group emerges from under the overpass with a sign in his/her hand, soliciting the drivers for money.

The signs differ, each one seemingly made by the person that wields it. The shortest of the overpass troupe, a younger man with a disfigurement that forces him to limp awkwardly up and down the line of cars, evokes God on his sign: “God Bless”, “May God Bless You”, “Lord Have Mercy”. A man a bit older, maybe the right age for Desert Storm, holds a sign that states that he is a vet, fallen on harder times. A man a bit older with a dirty gray beard and a Giants hat keeps things light with “Need Money to Eat (And A Beer)”.

The women have signs but I have never read them, they panhandle at a different time of day, when I’m not passing by. It’s obvious there is a schedule being followed and that’s what fascinates me. This community of people, down on their luck and very likely in the grip of drugs and alcohol, have come together to organize and agree on a system of panhandling for the betterment of the collective.

They don’t all just rush out, desperately shoving and scrapping for prime real estate, they have come to an understanding, and each person has their allotted time to go out and see what they can make. I imagine there is a schedule of some sort. The veteran from 8 to 9:30 AM, the fella with the Giants hat from 9:30 to 11, the younger man with the God signs and the limp going out all the way through the lunch hour. That’s just on some days though, the schedule seems to change throughout the week to make it fair.

Whatever system they have come up with, it seems to work. I recognize many of the same people today that I first noticed when I moved to the area years ago, the features just more weary and run down. While one member solicits the traffic, the rest talk and laugh and share cigarettes and food. I have never seen them drinking or using drugs out in the open, I have never seen a fight.  

I was small talking with an acquaintance not long ago about walking to work and the route I take.

“Shit, right through Tweaker Town USA!” he said.

He laughed and I laughed back, knowingly, but I felt little ashamed. What is the real difference between that community under the freeway and the one’s that this man and I are a part of? We have been born lucky in some ways, with possibly better opportunities and stable families. Do the people at our respective jobs treat us any better than how the people in “Tweaker Town” treat each other? Do we look out for each other better than the people under the freeway?

05-09-13

Watch the Thrones, Week Seven

The following is a series of e-mails exchanged on the evening of May 12th 2013 between staff writers Dublin and DJ Undacut.

UC:  What up buddy. So, what we got here is what I refer to as a “treading water” episode, know what I mean? Just sitting around waiting for the next shoe to drop. Things happened, but nothing of real consequence. Some scenes seemed like they were just thrown in to kill time, which is crazy, because the third book in George RR Martin’s series, A Storm of Swords, which I’m pretty sure this season is base on, is jam packed. We don’t have time to be treading water, feel me?

D: I do feel you. Some of this episode seemed very “treading water” like, which is weird especially because the credits listed George RR as the actual writer of the episode. Now, the way this show specifically treads water is by throwing a bunch of sex and violence at you so that you barely notice that nothing of consequence is coming to pass. The obvious example is Theon’s Freaky Porno. It has such a porno vibe I started laughing. Two girls show up (in the dungeon!) and start making out, then remove their bodices, and get Grayjoy in on the action. What?

UC: I’m a big porn fan but that scene had me shook. Just like Theon, I wasn’t able to relax and just go with it and I was right! Just when things started getting comfortable, bam, that Bastard showed up and I think................chopped off Theon’s johnson?  

D: Yes, it seemed they may have cut him a bit, which I don’t remember from the books. One thing I should mention: I think I heard somewhere that they were going to cut A Storm of Swords into two seasons, which would be the reason they are treading water in the thick of things like this. If they’re NOT going to break it up into two season then the remaining three episodes are going to be one wild ride!

UC: The Ygritte and Jon Snow thread aint doing it for me homie. While I understand they need to flesh out their relationship so it can have some emotional pop down the line, it just don’t make no sense! Why would she roll with this guy so hard if she knows for a fact he’s going to sell her and her whole crew out the first chance he gets. He basically confessed that this episode by saying “you” are all going to die taking on the North, not “us”. Yet she cuddles and cupcakes with him even though he’s a Crow. Maybe it’s the actors, maybe they suck and just aren’t selling it?

D: It could be the actors. The guy who plays Jon (Kit Harington) has been getting a lot of flack this season for being a lousy actor. I think he’s alright, he’s getting better. But the way I see it is that the situation they are in is pretty tragic, and they both know it. They are falling in love and they both know he’s a Crow but I guess Ygritte is thinking their love will stop Jon from going back to the Crows, because if he does she’ll probably get wacked by the Wildlings. It’s like the tragic situation in Donnie Brasco, Johnny Depp is a cop and he’s emotionally tied to Al Pacino but when the time comes he’s going to have to testify and the mob are going to wipe out Al. Jon Snow is in the same situation.

UC: Robb's wife is my new favorite. I’ve fallen off the Cersei bandwagon and have jumped firmly, and I mean firmly, on to the Talisa bandwagon. The woman was laid out with her booty exposed for like fifteen minutes and she had my full attention. I feel for Robb! How is he supposed to concentrate on his war with all that laid out on the bed next to him. PS: good Donnie Brasco reference. Although I don’t remember Al and Jonny ever taking a hot tub together in an ice cave.

D: Thanks for the props. I know we’ve touched on the fact Daenerys has made a (sort of) sudden jump to a full on bad ass recently- this episode was blatant. Two seasons ago (which would have been what, six months in their world?) she was a timid little girl, now she is bold, a little too bold. The way she was making cold threats to that slave trader guy seemed a little out of character.

UC: That scene bothered me too. For one, the whole setting was mad cheesy. Wherever they were, a mediterranean desert or whatever, it just looked cheese ball. You can tell they’re trying to make what is probably 50 actors playing Unsullied look like thousands and it’s obvious. The slaver and his slaves looked like some extras from Star Trek The Next Generation, straight nineties! Even Daenerys looked thrown together, like the hair and makeup people wanted to hurry up and go see some tourist spot or hit a bar. Now the dragons, they looked DOPE! In fact, the dragons always look great. But the rest of that scene looked like shit.

D: I know what you mean about that scene with the dragons. If I had changed channels and just happened to fall on that scene I might think it was Star Trek or just some crappy fantasy shit. For some reason those sets just come off faker than the scenes from Westeros, especially compared to the scenes they shoot in Northern Ireland which have the gorgeous green hills and the fog, the background gives those scenes credibility. Every scene in Ireland is beautiful, especially the one where Jaime turns the party back to Harrinahul and the one with Bran. Speaking of Bran, I feel like the Reed kids have barely been fleshed out. You?

UC: I agree homie, the Reeds haven’t got as much love as they maybe should have. Maybe the producers were as freaked out as much as we were by how the actor playing Bran matured and wanted to cut all those scenes way down. But you know who killed that scene?? My girl Osha! Hot damn, she’s a close second after Talisa. There is just something about her, her Wildling ways. I believe it, unlike Yigritte who I don’t believe. Again, acting.

D: It sure seems like Osha and Talisa have made you forget about Margaery who seems to have the whole King’s Landing on lockdown. Not only can she manipulate Joffery and put Cersei on the ropes, she can also see the good in Tyrion, which she tries to point out to Sansa as their wedding day approaches. How does she know everything?

UC: She knows everything about sex because she gets around, f’real. Remember when she offered Renley her brother so he could get aroused and knock her up? She knows her way around. Speaking of Tyrion, can he get rid of Shae or what? I am so sick of her. She’s gotten too whiney. And I liked that scene between Joffery and Tywin, the boy king and the REAL king. Also, I’m excited about my favorite new duo: Arya and The Hound. Those two are going to cause some serious wreck in Westeros.

D: My favorite duo is still Jaime and Brienne. I liked the fact he went back for her although I couldn’t stand that they shot that bear with an arrow. Anything where animals get hurt is bad for me. ALSO: I don’t know if you stay tuned to HBO after GOT but that show Veep is on and it’s hilarious. Season One was just alright but they’re showing Season 2 now and it’s fantastic, Really funny.

05-12-13