Watch The Thrones, Week 9

Both contributors this week asked that they write their own comments about Episode 9 of Game of Thrones Season 3.

Dublin’s Thoughts:

For those of us that have read the books, this was the episode of Game of Thrones that we all were waiting for. Could David Benioff and D.B Weiss possibly pull off The Red Wedding as good and with as much scorched earth devastation as George RR Martin put together in his third book of A Song of Ice and Fire?  

The Red Wedding of the book is such a horrific shock that many readers are left shaken for a few days after reading it. There’s even a little bit of anger with Martin as a result. It was one thing to kill your main character in the first book but then to spend another book and a half with an entire group of characters that are all wiped out in one fell swoop, it makes readers start to question their relationship with the writer. No one is safe, including you the reader, who could be emotionally harmed with any turn of the page.

On the other hand, it’s such a dramatic turn of events that there is absolutely no way in hell you're ever going to be able to put that book or any of the remaining volumes down. The killing of the King of the North, along with the King’s mother and what appears to be their entire entourage, is such a brutal event that it takes the drama of the story up a hundred notches while throwing fuel on a tale that had slowed down a bit with weddings and religion spread on thickly in the chapters leading up to it.

The same thing has happened in the show, with the producers piling on even more tragedy by throwing Robb’s wife Talisa into the slaughter along with their unborn child. Ouch. As someone who has been aware of the Red Wedding the entire season I was still taken back and devastated. I’m not ashamed to say that when Talisa told Robb they would name their child Ned I got a little worked up, more so because I knew what was coming. The cry that Michelle Fairley gave when she watched Roose Bolton put his sword through Robb’s heart was the scream of her career, selling all of the tragedy in that moment just before slashing Walder Frey’s young wife’s throat and then getting her own throat cut. This episode was a brutal triumph.

DJ Undacut’s Thoughts:

This is why this show is the greatest show ever made in history! No show could ever pull this shit off. None of ‘em! So The Wire killed off Stringer Bell in Season Three? So what! The Red Wedding of Season Three of GOT is like if Proposition Joe came into Police Headquarters and wiped out McNolty, Jay, Keeva, and then somehow teleported into The Sopranos and wacked Pauly Walnuts. Holy shit!

The Red Wedding is George RR Martin’s way of saying: “Hey everybody! We’re just getting started here!” Unfortunately, I got a feeling that a lot of people are going to see it as him saying “Hey everybody! Fuck you! I’m going to fuck you up by just throwing every emotional punch I can at you, right into your unsuspecting stomachs.” And the Red Wedding is a gut punch, no doubt. Judging by how hard #gameofthrones and #vomiting were trending on Twitter it seems to have been right on target.

There were a few slight difference between the book and the show that I was unhappy about, one in particular. In the book it’s commented on a gang of times on how booty the wedding band is, and as a reader you kind of wonder what’s up with that. There is a deep sense of foreboding through the whole event that you can’t quite put your finger on but when the shit goes down, you're are still blown away. In the book the wedding band turns out to not be a band at all but a group of crossbow wielding assassins that happen to play harp on the side. I would have liked to have seen more of that, more build up.

Other events took place this episode: Daenerys begins her siege of the city, Jon Snow breaks away from the Wildlings (and Ygritte, which was sort of a bummer), and Bran learns how to jump into the body of a wolf and Hodor. But who cares? This episode was all about the main event of the season. To me, the ultimate heartbreak of the Red Wedding is the fate of Araya: after all this how can she not go cold, maybe even evil? The Hound had to pile it on with that speech about being “almost” there too. Let’s hear it for Rory McCann by the way, the dude that plays the Hound. Whatever shortcomings Maise Williams has an actress he makes up for in their scenes together.

Whatever depression/betrayal/involuntary vomiting viewers are feeling tomorrow morning, you can bet your sweet ass that they’ll be tuned in next week and to the seasons to come. That’s my word.

06/02/13

Watch the Thrones, Week 8

The following is a series of recorded conversations between staff writers Dublin and DJ Undacut, transcribed on the evening of May 19th 2013.

2:50 PM

UC: I figured we would meet up early and make a couple’a predictions about tonight’s episode before it airs.

D: Okay.

UC: But I think we should make it a little more interesting by putting some money down.

D: Bets?

UC: F’sho.  So check it out: is this going to be a big ass episode, like big shit goes down? Or is it going to be another “treading” episode like what we discussed last week?

D: Big shit I think. It’s about time.

UC: I don’t think so. We’re at Episode 8. Big shit don’t go down until Episode 9 on HBO.

D: I still think something big is going down. Something huge.

UC: Alright, $25 says nothing all that significant is going to play out. And we gotta agree on what significant means.

D: I would say: Ned Stark getting killed. That was significant.

UC: Wow. So it’s gotta be that big.

D: Sure.

UC: You're on. Okay, will there be any titties?

D: I would imagine so.

UC: How many?

D: How many pairs?

UC: No, how many period.

D: Less than ten.

UC: You’re on. $5 says there will be more than ten.

D: If there’s less than ten I get $5?

UC: That’s right. Now, will Theon get tortured some more?

D: God I hope not. You think?

UC: $10 says he does.

D: Okay.

UC: Cool, see you in a few hours.

10:17 PM

UC: I'll take my $25 right off the bat homey.

D: There was a wedding!

UC: Shieeeet (just like Senator Clay Davis from The Wire). That wasn't no "big shit".

D: Hmmm. Okay. Well I'm keeping $5 because I only counted two titties.

UC: I counted four!

D: Melisandre and???

UC: Gendry fool.

D: If that even counted that's only four. That scene was a little over the top.

UC: That scene was kinky! Melisandre is like that freaky teacher that wants to hook up with her students in the parking lot.

D: She looks exactly like a classic character from a Conan comic book.

UC: Word up! That was every nerds favorite scene. And that was all added by the TV people, none of that is in the books.

D: Also, no Theon. So that's another $10 back to me.

UC: I'm still ten bucks ahead.

D: So the wedding wasn't a big deal to you?

UC: It wasn't no 'Ned Stark getting his dome chopped' scene, no. I did love it though.

D: Joffery!

UC: That little son of a bitch. Just when you think he can’t get no worse he’s talking about raping his dwarf uncle’s wife on their wedding night. Damn that little inbred bastard.

D: You know, for me, this is the episode where Tyrion truly became a hero, or at least a good guy.

UC: He's always been the real star.

D: Sure, but I'm saying. The way he handled the wedding night with Sansa showed him to really be one of the good guys. In fact, I feel that whole wedding and wedding night was done better on the show than in the books. Peter Dinklage straight killed it.

UC: Dinklage!

D: I've always felt he was a little over rated to be honest. But this episode showed why he's a great actor and why Tyrion is a good guy.

UC: I love when he threatened Joffery. Tywin had to chill that out.

D: Yes.

UC: Lannisters were threatening a lot of people this episode. How about Cersei threatening Margaery for calling her sister?

D: Hey, Cersei has got to protect her spot as Queen Bitch, I mean Regent.

UC: Finally, it seems as if Sam killed a White Walker.

D: It seems that way.

UC: I hate Sam.

D: I hate the White Walkers. They look so digital and stupid.

UC: I hate Sam's fat face with that nasty chin beard.

D: I think the White Walkers would have been more scary if you couldn't see so much of their faces. More like the Ring Wraiths.

UC: Now those guys are scary. See you next week!

D: Sounds good.

Transcribed by Jose Vanuello for Pro-Transcriptions, San Pablo CA. 05-19-13

Watch the Thrones, Week Seven

The following is a series of e-mails exchanged on the evening of May 12th 2013 between staff writers Dublin and DJ Undacut.

UC:  What up buddy. So, what we got here is what I refer to as a “treading water” episode, know what I mean? Just sitting around waiting for the next shoe to drop. Things happened, but nothing of real consequence. Some scenes seemed like they were just thrown in to kill time, which is crazy, because the third book in George RR Martin’s series, A Storm of Swords, which I’m pretty sure this season is base on, is jam packed. We don’t have time to be treading water, feel me?

D: I do feel you. Some of this episode seemed very “treading water” like, which is weird especially because the credits listed George RR as the actual writer of the episode. Now, the way this show specifically treads water is by throwing a bunch of sex and violence at you so that you barely notice that nothing of consequence is coming to pass. The obvious example is Theon’s Freaky Porno. It has such a porno vibe I started laughing. Two girls show up (in the dungeon!) and start making out, then remove their bodices, and get Grayjoy in on the action. What?

UC: I’m a big porn fan but that scene had me shook. Just like Theon, I wasn’t able to relax and just go with it and I was right! Just when things started getting comfortable, bam, that Bastard showed up and I think................chopped off Theon’s johnson?  

D: Yes, it seemed they may have cut him a bit, which I don’t remember from the books. One thing I should mention: I think I heard somewhere that they were going to cut A Storm of Swords into two seasons, which would be the reason they are treading water in the thick of things like this. If they’re NOT going to break it up into two season then the remaining three episodes are going to be one wild ride!

UC: The Ygritte and Jon Snow thread aint doing it for me homie. While I understand they need to flesh out their relationship so it can have some emotional pop down the line, it just don’t make no sense! Why would she roll with this guy so hard if she knows for a fact he’s going to sell her and her whole crew out the first chance he gets. He basically confessed that this episode by saying “you” are all going to die taking on the North, not “us”. Yet she cuddles and cupcakes with him even though he’s a Crow. Maybe it’s the actors, maybe they suck and just aren’t selling it?

D: It could be the actors. The guy who plays Jon (Kit Harington) has been getting a lot of flack this season for being a lousy actor. I think he’s alright, he’s getting better. But the way I see it is that the situation they are in is pretty tragic, and they both know it. They are falling in love and they both know he’s a Crow but I guess Ygritte is thinking their love will stop Jon from going back to the Crows, because if he does she’ll probably get wacked by the Wildlings. It’s like the tragic situation in Donnie Brasco, Johnny Depp is a cop and he’s emotionally tied to Al Pacino but when the time comes he’s going to have to testify and the mob are going to wipe out Al. Jon Snow is in the same situation.

UC: Robb's wife is my new favorite. I’ve fallen off the Cersei bandwagon and have jumped firmly, and I mean firmly, on to the Talisa bandwagon. The woman was laid out with her booty exposed for like fifteen minutes and she had my full attention. I feel for Robb! How is he supposed to concentrate on his war with all that laid out on the bed next to him. PS: good Donnie Brasco reference. Although I don’t remember Al and Jonny ever taking a hot tub together in an ice cave.

D: Thanks for the props. I know we’ve touched on the fact Daenerys has made a (sort of) sudden jump to a full on bad ass recently- this episode was blatant. Two seasons ago (which would have been what, six months in their world?) she was a timid little girl, now she is bold, a little too bold. The way she was making cold threats to that slave trader guy seemed a little out of character.

UC: That scene bothered me too. For one, the whole setting was mad cheesy. Wherever they were, a mediterranean desert or whatever, it just looked cheese ball. You can tell they’re trying to make what is probably 50 actors playing Unsullied look like thousands and it’s obvious. The slaver and his slaves looked like some extras from Star Trek The Next Generation, straight nineties! Even Daenerys looked thrown together, like the hair and makeup people wanted to hurry up and go see some tourist spot or hit a bar. Now the dragons, they looked DOPE! In fact, the dragons always look great. But the rest of that scene looked like shit.

D: I know what you mean about that scene with the dragons. If I had changed channels and just happened to fall on that scene I might think it was Star Trek or just some crappy fantasy shit. For some reason those sets just come off faker than the scenes from Westeros, especially compared to the scenes they shoot in Northern Ireland which have the gorgeous green hills and the fog, the background gives those scenes credibility. Every scene in Ireland is beautiful, especially the one where Jaime turns the party back to Harrinahul and the one with Bran. Speaking of Bran, I feel like the Reed kids have barely been fleshed out. You?

UC: I agree homie, the Reeds haven’t got as much love as they maybe should have. Maybe the producers were as freaked out as much as we were by how the actor playing Bran matured and wanted to cut all those scenes way down. But you know who killed that scene?? My girl Osha! Hot damn, she’s a close second after Talisa. There is just something about her, her Wildling ways. I believe it, unlike Yigritte who I don’t believe. Again, acting.

D: It sure seems like Osha and Talisa have made you forget about Margaery who seems to have the whole King’s Landing on lockdown. Not only can she manipulate Joffery and put Cersei on the ropes, she can also see the good in Tyrion, which she tries to point out to Sansa as their wedding day approaches. How does she know everything?

UC: She knows everything about sex because she gets around, f’real. Remember when she offered Renley her brother so he could get aroused and knock her up? She knows her way around. Speaking of Tyrion, can he get rid of Shae or what? I am so sick of her. She’s gotten too whiney. And I liked that scene between Joffery and Tywin, the boy king and the REAL king. Also, I’m excited about my favorite new duo: Arya and The Hound. Those two are going to cause some serious wreck in Westeros.

D: My favorite duo is still Jaime and Brienne. I liked the fact he went back for her although I couldn’t stand that they shot that bear with an arrow. Anything where animals get hurt is bad for me. ALSO: I don’t know if you stay tuned to HBO after GOT but that show Veep is on and it’s hilarious. Season One was just alright but they’re showing Season 2 now and it’s fantastic, Really funny.

05-12-13