The following is a series of e-mails exchanged on the evening of May 12th 2013 between staff writers Dublin and DJ Undacut.
UC: What up buddy. So, what we got here is what I refer to as a “treading water” episode, know what I mean? Just sitting around waiting for the next shoe to drop. Things happened, but nothing of real consequence. Some scenes seemed like they were just thrown in to kill time, which is crazy, because the third book in George RR Martin’s series, A Storm of Swords, which I’m pretty sure this season is base on, is jam packed. We don’t have time to be treading water, feel me?
D: I do feel you. Some of this episode seemed very “treading water” like, which is weird especially because the credits listed George RR as the actual writer of the episode. Now, the way this show specifically treads water is by throwing a bunch of sex and violence at you so that you barely notice that nothing of consequence is coming to pass. The obvious example is Theon’s Freaky Porno. It has such a porno vibe I started laughing. Two girls show up (in the dungeon!) and start making out, then remove their bodices, and get Grayjoy in on the action. What?
UC: I’m a big porn fan but that scene had me shook. Just like Theon, I wasn’t able to relax and just go with it and I was right! Just when things started getting comfortable, bam, that Bastard showed up and I think................chopped off Theon’s johnson?
D: Yes, it seemed they may have cut him a bit, which I don’t remember from the books. One thing I should mention: I think I heard somewhere that they were going to cut A Storm of Swords into two seasons, which would be the reason they are treading water in the thick of things like this. If they’re NOT going to break it up into two season then the remaining three episodes are going to be one wild ride!
UC: The Ygritte and Jon Snow thread aint doing it for me homie. While I understand they need to flesh out their relationship so it can have some emotional pop down the line, it just don’t make no sense! Why would she roll with this guy so hard if she knows for a fact he’s going to sell her and her whole crew out the first chance he gets. He basically confessed that this episode by saying “you” are all going to die taking on the North, not “us”. Yet she cuddles and cupcakes with him even though he’s a Crow. Maybe it’s the actors, maybe they suck and just aren’t selling it?
D: It could be the actors. The guy who plays Jon (Kit Harington) has been getting a lot of flack this season for being a lousy actor. I think he’s alright, he’s getting better. But the way I see it is that the situation they are in is pretty tragic, and they both know it. They are falling in love and they both know he’s a Crow but I guess Ygritte is thinking their love will stop Jon from going back to the Crows, because if he does she’ll probably get wacked by the Wildlings. It’s like the tragic situation in Donnie Brasco, Johnny Depp is a cop and he’s emotionally tied to Al Pacino but when the time comes he’s going to have to testify and the mob are going to wipe out Al. Jon Snow is in the same situation.
UC: Robb's wife is my new favorite. I’ve fallen off the Cersei bandwagon and have jumped firmly, and I mean firmly, on to the Talisa bandwagon. The woman was laid out with her booty exposed for like fifteen minutes and she had my full attention. I feel for Robb! How is he supposed to concentrate on his war with all that laid out on the bed next to him. PS: good Donnie Brasco reference. Although I don’t remember Al and Jonny ever taking a hot tub together in an ice cave.
D: Thanks for the props. I know we’ve touched on the fact Daenerys has made a (sort of) sudden jump to a full on bad ass recently- this episode was blatant. Two seasons ago (which would have been what, six months in their world?) she was a timid little girl, now she is bold, a little too bold. The way she was making cold threats to that slave trader guy seemed a little out of character.
UC: That scene bothered me too. For one, the whole setting was mad cheesy. Wherever they were, a mediterranean desert or whatever, it just looked cheese ball. You can tell they’re trying to make what is probably 50 actors playing Unsullied look like thousands and it’s obvious. The slaver and his slaves looked like some extras from Star Trek The Next Generation, straight nineties! Even Daenerys looked thrown together, like the hair and makeup people wanted to hurry up and go see some tourist spot or hit a bar. Now the dragons, they looked DOPE! In fact, the dragons always look great. But the rest of that scene looked like shit.
D: I know what you mean about that scene with the dragons. If I had changed channels and just happened to fall on that scene I might think it was Star Trek or just some crappy fantasy shit. For some reason those sets just come off faker than the scenes from Westeros, especially compared to the scenes they shoot in Northern Ireland which have the gorgeous green hills and the fog, the background gives those scenes credibility. Every scene in Ireland is beautiful, especially the one where Jaime turns the party back to Harrinahul and the one with Bran. Speaking of Bran, I feel like the Reed kids have barely been fleshed out. You?
UC: I agree homie, the Reeds haven’t got as much love as they maybe should have. Maybe the producers were as freaked out as much as we were by how the actor playing Bran matured and wanted to cut all those scenes way down. But you know who killed that scene?? My girl Osha! Hot damn, she’s a close second after Talisa. There is just something about her, her Wildling ways. I believe it, unlike Yigritte who I don’t believe. Again, acting.
D: It sure seems like Osha and Talisa have made you forget about Margaery who seems to have the whole King’s Landing on lockdown. Not only can she manipulate Joffery and put Cersei on the ropes, she can also see the good in Tyrion, which she tries to point out to Sansa as their wedding day approaches. How does she know everything?
UC: She knows everything about sex because she gets around, f’real. Remember when she offered Renley her brother so he could get aroused and knock her up? She knows her way around. Speaking of Tyrion, can he get rid of Shae or what? I am so sick of her. She’s gotten too whiney. And I liked that scene between Joffery and Tywin, the boy king and the REAL king. Also, I’m excited about my favorite new duo: Arya and The Hound. Those two are going to cause some serious wreck in Westeros.
D: My favorite duo is still Jaime and Brienne. I liked the fact he went back for her although I couldn’t stand that they shot that bear with an arrow. Anything where animals get hurt is bad for me. ALSO: I don’t know if you stay tuned to HBO after GOT but that show Veep is on and it’s hilarious. Season One was just alright but they’re showing Season 2 now and it’s fantastic, Really funny.
05-12-13
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