Watch the Thrones, Week Six

Lady Olenna is a bad ass

The following is a series of text messages sent between Dublin and DJ Undacut during the sixth episode of the third season of HBO’s Game of Thrones entitled “The Climb”.

UC: Be loyal to your woman!

D: I don’t think Ygritte would turn me on. I think she would just scare me.

UC: You know who turns me on?

D: ?

UC: Osha! That’s a bad north woman.

D: I like her too.

D: The Band of Brothers are Arya’s new brothers. That scene where they’re showing her how to shoot a bow and arrow is just like when Robb and Jon were showing her in the very first episode.

UC: Wrong!

D: ????

UC: That was Bran they were showing how to shoot. Not Arya. Lil’ Arya could already shoot back then.

D: Damn.

D: Outnerded.

D: Let me ask you this Nerd King: did Melisandre go and meet up with the Band of Brothers in the book?

UC: Shit. I don’t remember that.

D: Me neither. There was a lot of stuff in this episode that veered from the book.

UC: What else?

D: Melisandre taking Gendry. I don’t think that happened in the book.

UC: It didn’t?

D: I don’t think so. Plus we have more of Theon getting flayed by the Bastard.

UC: That is in the book!

D: As a flash back.

D: In the book you think Theon is dead and he comes back as a completely different character because he’s been brainwashed through torture.

D: That is way more interesting than seeing a sadist getting medieval on his ass for ten minutes every episode.

UC: Ha!

UC: He is getting medieval on his ass.

UC: Anything else different?

D: Joffery killing Ros. That wasn’t in the books for sure.

UC: Ros wasn’t in the books at all. She was a straight up show creation.

D: So I guess that gives them the right to kill her off like that?

UC: It was just thrown in there.

D: Does it work? Do you think Littlefinger really would sell Ros to Joffery so he can practice his new nifty crossbow on her?

UC: Shieeeeet. Littlefinger will give that little prick anything he wants if it means it puts him closer to power.

UC: BTW, high Valerian is a dope language.

D: There was a lot of it in this episode.

D: No Daenerys though.

UC: Nope.

D: I like the whole religious thing that’s coming into play this season. It’s slowly making it’s way in more and more, just like the books.

UC: Hmm.

D: I like that religion and magic are all mixed together. Is it a God bringing Beric back or is it magic?

UC: Word. That is cool.

UC: I thought the wall climbing was kind of booty?

D: How so?

UC: The special effects. It just looked stupid fake.

D: I don’t agree.

UC: Looked like some weak ass Doctor Who shit or something.

D: What scene was your favorite?

UC: It wasn’t my favorite but I was feeling the Jaime and Brienne scene with Roose Bolton.

UC: I actually believe in that bond.

D: Did you like the scene between Tywin and Lady Olenna?

UC: Heavyweights!

UC: She said Loras was a “sword swallower”!

D: Tywin really isn’t feeling gay people. Lannister’s vote strictly Republican.

UC: Olenna had the balls to call out the Lannisters for incest!

D: That was crazy. She’s no joke.

D: We had a another good scene between Cersei and Tyrion.

UC: Fa sho. So Joffery is the one who put the hit out on Tyrion at the battle of Blackwater Bay?

D: Seems that way.

UC: Lousy little bastard.

D: Peter Dinklage hasn’t had a ton to do this season. When he does have a scene he kills it.

UC: I like that they put Shae in the room when he had to tell Sansa they’re getting married.

D: That was a nice touch. A lot of weddings coming up.

UC: Word up. Looking forward to them all.

D: Except for one maybe.

UC: True. Either way, it’s going down!

Transcribed and edited on 05-05-13 by DJ Undcut.