Watch the Thrones, Week 8

The following is a series of recorded conversations between staff writers Dublin and DJ Undacut, transcribed on the evening of May 19th 2013.

2:50 PM

UC: I figured we would meet up early and make a couple’a predictions about tonight’s episode before it airs.

D: Okay.

UC: But I think we should make it a little more interesting by putting some money down.

D: Bets?

UC: F’sho.  So check it out: is this going to be a big ass episode, like big shit goes down? Or is it going to be another “treading” episode like what we discussed last week?

D: Big shit I think. It’s about time.

UC: I don’t think so. We’re at Episode 8. Big shit don’t go down until Episode 9 on HBO.

D: I still think something big is going down. Something huge.

UC: Alright, $25 says nothing all that significant is going to play out. And we gotta agree on what significant means.

D: I would say: Ned Stark getting killed. That was significant.

UC: Wow. So it’s gotta be that big.

D: Sure.

UC: You're on. Okay, will there be any titties?

D: I would imagine so.

UC: How many?

D: How many pairs?

UC: No, how many period.

D: Less than ten.

UC: You’re on. $5 says there will be more than ten.

D: If there’s less than ten I get $5?

UC: That’s right. Now, will Theon get tortured some more?

D: God I hope not. You think?

UC: $10 says he does.

D: Okay.

UC: Cool, see you in a few hours.

10:17 PM

UC: I'll take my $25 right off the bat homey.

D: There was a wedding!

UC: Shieeeet (just like Senator Clay Davis from The Wire). That wasn't no "big shit".

D: Hmmm. Okay. Well I'm keeping $5 because I only counted two titties.

UC: I counted four!

D: Melisandre and???

UC: Gendry fool.

D: If that even counted that's only four. That scene was a little over the top.

UC: That scene was kinky! Melisandre is like that freaky teacher that wants to hook up with her students in the parking lot.

D: She looks exactly like a classic character from a Conan comic book.

UC: Word up! That was every nerds favorite scene. And that was all added by the TV people, none of that is in the books.

D: Also, no Theon. So that's another $10 back to me.

UC: I'm still ten bucks ahead.

D: So the wedding wasn't a big deal to you?

UC: It wasn't no 'Ned Stark getting his dome chopped' scene, no. I did love it though.

D: Joffery!

UC: That little son of a bitch. Just when you think he can’t get no worse he’s talking about raping his dwarf uncle’s wife on their wedding night. Damn that little inbred bastard.

D: You know, for me, this is the episode where Tyrion truly became a hero, or at least a good guy.

UC: He's always been the real star.

D: Sure, but I'm saying. The way he handled the wedding night with Sansa showed him to really be one of the good guys. In fact, I feel that whole wedding and wedding night was done better on the show than in the books. Peter Dinklage straight killed it.

UC: Dinklage!

D: I've always felt he was a little over rated to be honest. But this episode showed why he's a great actor and why Tyrion is a good guy.

UC: I love when he threatened Joffery. Tywin had to chill that out.

D: Yes.

UC: Lannisters were threatening a lot of people this episode. How about Cersei threatening Margaery for calling her sister?

D: Hey, Cersei has got to protect her spot as Queen Bitch, I mean Regent.

UC: Finally, it seems as if Sam killed a White Walker.

D: It seems that way.

UC: I hate Sam.

D: I hate the White Walkers. They look so digital and stupid.

UC: I hate Sam's fat face with that nasty chin beard.

D: I think the White Walkers would have been more scary if you couldn't see so much of their faces. More like the Ring Wraiths.

UC: Now those guys are scary. See you next week!

D: Sounds good.

Transcribed by Jose Vanuello for Pro-Transcriptions, San Pablo CA. 05-19-13