Black Swan

Furlough Film # 6
Every furlough day Dublin and Robert Fong get together to view a film and then discuss that film. This time they were joined on December 6th by Robert's neighbor Paul. The following is a transcript of their discussion.

R: Ah ha! About f__king time we did this one.
D: You've seen it?
R: Naw, I heard of it. Read about it.
D: Paul?
P: Can't say I've seen it. I like Natalie Portman though.
D: Great.

(They watch Black Swan)

D: As the credits go give me your reactions. One word.
R: Hot!
P: Gross. But also hot too.
D: That's two words Paul.
R: Yeah, and what are you talking about? Gross?
P: It was gross Bob. Her nails were always bleeding and weird sh__t was always happening to her body.
D: You know, there was some pretty gross stuff but it was also amazing. The goose bumps, you know what I'm talking about? How her skin would get all bumpy all the time? It was subtle sometimes but it happened a lot and I thought it was a nice touch.
R: She grew f__king feathers!
P: That was really disgusting. I think that's when her legs broke and all that too. Remember that?
R: Of course I remember that. I just saw the f__king movie.
D: What did you think the meaning of that scene was?
P: It was body horror, plain and simple.
R: That's what Cronenberg used to do right?
D: There's some Kafka in there too.
P: I think some of it was projecting male misunderstanding of the female body too.
R: C'mon Paul! This isn't that sort of talk.
D: It can be whatever you want it to be. The leg breaking or whatever was sort of the climax of the movie, was it not?
P: The dance was the climax.
D: Well sure. But that leg part went so bat s__t crazy that it kind of felt like the climax.
R: I'll tell you what the climax for me was.
D: I think we already know.
R: When Mila Kunis goes down on Natalie Portman. That was the f__king climax.
P: You're so obvious in your tastelessness Bob.
R: What? You didn't get a woody when that happened? C'mon!
P: No, I did not get an erection.
R: Don't lie! I think we all did. There were three grown men with woodies sitting around watching this TV at one point.
D: Jeez Bob. Alright, highlights?
R: When Mila Kunis went down on Natalie Portman!
D: Right, anything else?
P: Her actual performance as the black swan at the end was pretty amazing. She was so good. That was the climax for me.
D: That was very good. I got to tell you guys something.
R&P: What?
D: I don't really care for Natalie Portman all that much.
R&P: What?!
D: I can't say why exactly. I remember the first time I saw her-
R: In Closer.
D: No, before that. And I thought she sucked in Closer.
P: In Star Wars?
D: God no. Don't even bring that up.
R: Yeah Paul. Don't ever mention those movies during these discussions. Ever!
P: Sorry.
D: It's okay. But the first movie I saw her in was The Professional.
R: Great film!
D: Actually no. That movie sucks. My point is that I saw her in that and she struck me as a spoiled Hollywood actress that had more confidence than talent.
R: She was just a little girl in that f__king movie!
D: Maybe so. But that first impression has never worn off. Even as she grows up she still rubs me that way.
R: I wish she would rub me some way.
P: I would like to speak up please and say that I think Natalie Portman is a great actress and that she was amazing in this movie.
D: I'm glad you did Paul because I'm going to have to change my tune and say that I agree with you.
R: After dragging Natalie's whole career through the s__t and the mud you're going to say she's a great actress?
D: In this, yes. She owned this movie. She hit every note spot on. I really really enjoyed her performance.
P: It takes a big man to admit that he's made a mistake.
D: I'm not saying that I suddenly I think she was good in Closer and all those other one's but I almost feel like her performance in this makes up for all of those.
R: Wow. Big talk.
D: Alright, favorite scenes?
P: The dance at the end was very moving to me. I also like Vincent Cassel very much as well. Any scene where he got to act was good in my book.
R: But he's got such a weird little face. A funny little French face.
P: That makes no sense. His face is not small.
R: But it's weird. I feel like he's inbred or something
P: What in the world are you talking about?
R: All the French look like that. The English too. Like they've all been stuck in their little countries inbreeding for centuries.
D: That's offensive Bob.
R: What do you care? You're not French.
P: What if somebody said all the Chinese were inbred?
R: That's impossible. There's a couple billion of us.
D: Moving on. Favorite scene Bob? And you can't say the sex scene either.
R: That was my favorite scene so I guess I'll have to go with my second favorite scene.
D: Which was?
R: The part where she's getting herself off and doesn't realize her Mom is sleeping on the couch right next to her.
P: That was gross.
D: I actually laughed.
P: I remember that. I thought it was weird that you laughed.
R: That was hot, not funny.
D: It was so over the top and uncomfortable it made me laugh. I couldn't help it.
R: You know who makes me uncomfortable? Winona Ryder. That's one weird ass chick.
D: She was acting Bob. I don't think saying she's a "weird ass chick" is really appropriate.
P: He's right Dublin. She is strange.
D: You too?
P: Ever since she got arrested for shop lifting she's played strange parts that go against her pervious image.
D: You think?
R: The only movie I can remember her being in in the last ten years is that stupid animated one they made with Keanu Reeves that was based on a Philip K. Dick novel.
P: There's one thing I don't get.
R: What's that?
P: Well, if Natalie Portman is having all these hallucinations and going kind of nuts thinking she killed the understudy with a piece of glass but really she stabbed herself, when did she do it?
R: Do what?
P: Stab herself?
D: I was under the impression she did it when she had the hallucination of the murder.
P: That was during intermission.
D: Right.
R: So f__king what?
P: Are you telling me she stabbed herself and then went out and performed the rest of Swan Lake? Really? While bleeding to death?
D: It's a good point.
R: Who gives a s__t? We all liked the movie right?
P&D: Yeah.
R: Then just enjoy it for what it is and move on. What's next?
D: We haven't decided on the next movie yet. I was thinking Paul could pick since he hasen't had that privilege.
R: F__king great. He's going to pick Ghost or something.
P: No I won't. It'll be good.
D: Great. See you next time.

Taken from a transcription by Peggy Menchstone on 12/8/11