East Coast Tour PART 1

I chose to write a record of the Jazz Mafia East Coast Tour 2010 like a pretentious Hemingway wannabe because that’s exactly what I am. Kind of being sarcastic kind of not. Any who, I wrote it in a style that I thought was funny and that I thought fit so if you don’t like it go f%$k yourself. This is Dublin’s World.

PART 1

The Oakland airport is small. It feels like your some where in the mid-west when your flight is delayed.
The drinking began right then.
Joe Cohen was there and we had some food and some laughs.
Aima was there. She had waited at the airport Chilies for hours.
Wayne was there. So were Anthony and Alex Kelley, and Evan, and Mikey, and Neil.
We were all mostly buzzed at the airport Chilies and the trip hadn’t begun.
I hugged my brother Eric Garland and my brother Pat.
I saw Jon near the bathroom.
We were laughing and the Chilies wait staff hated us.
They called for our flight and Matt Lucas was detained for a bit because he looks slightly Arab.

I slept during the plane ride. I can sleep anywhere. Fell asleep during a conversation once.
All there at JFK. The whole Jazz Mafia in New York City.
We were picked up in vans. The cemeteries were gigantic. The traffic was thick.
Went across the Williamsburg Bridge. I could see Manhattan.
Drove into the village. Beautiful day. The women were out.
Journeyed around. Paraded through parks. Walked into bars.
Took the vans to the club. People drive like there is no tomorrow. People jay walk like there is no today.
The girls are beautiful. Some of them had decided to not wear braes and I supported the movement with a respectful nod.

We load in to the club and we are like an army. We eat everything in sight. We drink all the liquor they will give us.
The sound men are professional. If they are intimidated by the 45 piece Orchestra they don't show it.
We started the show. They had Adam on a riser high above the crowd. The crowd began to cry out in anticipation at the top of Darkness and Light and we were in New York playing music like men and women that had a purpose.
A drunken anthropology professor said I was channeling Sinatra. I acted like it was no big deal but I was touched. We ended the show with Ease the Pain and it felt good.

After the show I found myself at a bar. Joe Cohen was there and he was buying drinks. There was a band playing and the drinks wouldn't stop being poured even after I had crossed the line.
The crowd was thick.
There were two dwarfs in the crowd.
I nodded at them and Joe did too.
We were drunk and then we were in the van and then it was morning in New Jersey. I walked out of the room in the same clothes I had worn the day before with the hair of a pagan. The whole Jazz Mafia laughed.
Chris McGee called me a tar demon or something. He said he could see the shit coming out of my skin.
"Not shit but you know what I mean," he said.